Hi my name is Lauren, and I'm a foodaholic.
I've grown up around addiction, and the more I come to realise it, the more I'm certain mine is an addiction to food.
I'm obssesed
I'm obsessed about my weight and I'm obsessed about my food, and the two never go hand in hand.
Every night before I go to bed, I beg myself to start a "diet". I hate the way I look, hate it. But every morning I wake up and the first thing that enters my mind is food, what am I going to eat? When I'm preparing breakfast, I'm thinking about lunch, and when I'm eating lunch, I'm preparing dinner.
The problem is, I love ALL food, the healthy and un healthy. All my conversations seem to be about food, my passions all lie with food. I am passionate about cooking and I am passionate about eating out at GOOD restaurants.
Yet every day I look in the mirror, and feel guilty. Why did I eat that yesterday? Why can't I just say no? Yes I enjoy my food, but with in a few hours, I feel disgusted. I want to be thin, but I love my food. I want to love my food, but I want to be thin. It is literally consuming me.
When I am on one of my fad diets, I obsess about it. I will tell everyone and anyone how good it is, and go in to detail what you can eat and what you can't. I will stock up and spend fortunes on what I need to keep myself away from temptation. Sometimes they can last a month, a couple a years, I will really get motivated and feel suprior. More often than not, they last a day.
So why can't I just be happy? The problem is I look at friends, who love food, slim, gorgeous friends, who seem to eat and eat (although I don't know what goes on behind closed doors), and I get jealous, why can't I be like that, WHY?????? Then I come to conclusion, it's genes, it has to be..... so I start to eat what I want and not care! HELLO I DO FUCKING CARE!! EVERYDAY I CARE, I want to be slim and toned.
Maybe I'm lazy, exercise is key..... oh wait my lovely dinner is in the oven, BRB!
